If You Want to Get Closer to Your Children as They Grow Up, Say Goodbye to These 10 Behaviors According to Psychology

The Shiro Corporation Building a close and sincere relationship with children is a dream for many parents.

However, as children grow older, communication challenges, differences in values, and each one's busyness often make the relationship become strained.

Often, without realizing it, parents engage in certain habits that actually alienate them from their children.

Developmental psychology and family relationships show that if you want to have a strong and healthy bond with your children as they grow into adulthood, it is important to let go of certain behaviors that are commonly considered "normal."

As reported by Geediting on Wednesday (6/17), there are 10 behaviors that should be avoided if you want to maintain emotional intimacy with your children throughout their lives:

1. Controlling Everything

Many elderly people are accustomed to arranging and deciding everything for their children's benefit.

However, as children grow up, they need space to make their own choices.

Continuously controlling their lives will only make them feel untrusted and distant.

Psychology says: excessive control damages a child's autonomy and worsens relationships by reducing mutual respect and trust.

2. Often Criticizing and Judging

Phrases like "You should have known!" or "Why can't you be more like your sibling?" can leave deep emotional scars.

Repeated criticism without empathy makes children feel unwelcome and fails to meet parental expectations.

Say goodbye to this pattern and replace it with a way of communication that is constructive and supportive.

3. Mengabaikan Perasaan Anak

When a child expresses their emotions or difficulties, responding with, "Ah, that's just how you feel" or "You're being dramatic" is a form of emotional invalidation.

This makes them reluctant to open up in the future.

Psychology emphasizes the importance of validating emotions to strengthen trust and emotional closeness.

4. Demanding Children to Become What the Parents Want

A child is not an extension of their parents' ambitions.

Forcing them to pursue certain careers, certain lifestyles, or life choices based on personal desires will create long-term pressure and conflict.

Children need support to become themselves — not replicas of their parents.

5. Unable to Listen Actively

Children, even those who are grown up, still need to be heard.

However, many older people are busier giving advice than listening.

This makes communication one-way and damages closeness.

Learning to listen actively and without interruption is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

6. Using Guilt as a Control Tool

Phrases like "Ibu already made a lot of sacrifices for you" or "Ayah is very disappointed in you" can be forms of emotional manipulation.

This creates a sense of guilt and makes the child feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship.

Psychology refers to this as emotional blackmail, which can damage long-term relationships.

7. Never Apologized

Many elderly people feel that apologizing to their children will undermine their authority.

After all, admitting mistakes actually builds greater respect and trust.

Children tend to respect parents who can humble themselves and ask for forgiveness.

8. Rejecting Different Opinions

As children grow older, they may have different views on religion, politics, lifestyle, and other matters.

Refusing or disputing these differences without respect can create a dividing gap.

Accept that your child is a complete individual with their own freedom to think.

9. Too Busy or Emotionally Unavailable

The body can be present, but if your mind and attention are preoccupied with gadgets or work, your child will still feel neglected.

Intimacy is not built from the quantity of time, but from the quality of togetherness.

Psychology suggests that active emotional involvement is the key to intimate and lasting relationships.

10. Imposing Old Standards in the New World of Children

Elders often compare the old days with today, then reject their children's way of life because it is considered "not like before."

Such comparisons make children feel misunderstood and judged.

Close relationships require adaptation, not forcing old standards.

Conclusion: Closeness Is Not Automatic, But Built

Emotional closeness with adult children doesn't happen by itself. It needs to be built through empathy, healthy communication, and parents' willingness to continue learning and changing.

By saying goodbye to these 10 behaviors above, you not only improve your relationship with your children, but also open the door to become their most trusted friend for life.

Remember, a close relationship isn't about control or always being right, but about accepting each other, supporting each other, and growing together — even as time goes on and they're no longer young like they used to be.

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